Reprint

28/04/08 05:22 [Monday]

I am pondering the possibility that the people at Bassetlaw genuinely felt they were there to ‘look after me’. Psychiatrists have weird ways of thinking, but Dr G seemed friendly enough even though it did not in the least occur to him that there was anything wrong with holding me in hospital, beyond the time ordinarily a patient would be held as he agreed - not admitting in any sense - I was being held when I asked him just before my discharge - on leave - in November 2005. In preparation for the discharge I was evidently subject to hypnotising questioning and urging.

Dr G, it was evident, did not know (and would not believe) that I genuinely had been drugged surreptitiously in the summer of 2005 preceding my detention. One of the first times I was drugged that summer - for the purpose of hypnotising me, I think, rather than drugged with antischizophrenic drugs (certainly not for any purpose they are usually given) - was in July 2005 when the premiss of the hypnosis was to invite me to call for an ambulance and go to hospital. The ambulance staff I remember very keenly queried whether I myself genuinely wanted to be taken to hospital. I said I did, and Dawn and I were taken to the Queen Alexandra Hospital in Redditch where I was seen by a psychiatrists called Laki to whom I explained the reason I had come was to waste his time because I was resentful of the way psychiatrists had treated me in the past. We were released late at night and wandered for hours - or what seemed like hours - round the dual carriageways of the New Town of Redditch, I being under the influence of some confusional drugs possibly including antischizophrenic agents. The thing is it was not a hole-in-the-corner affair. The ambulance man knew I was a special case because of the way he carefully asked me if I myself wanted to go to hospital. The police also watched out - although not as much as in more recent times - when we were wandering about Redditch around 2 am.

The diary entry from Tuesday 8 November 2005 [omitted here but quoted in the original version of April 2008 now in colinbrough.co.uk] indicates to me that people speaking to me when I was in a trance-like condition were asking me for evidence I was mentally ill and almost explicitly saying that I could choose to be ‘looked after’ at Bassetlaw for the rest of my days if I agreed to be stilled - and silenced - with antischizophrenic drugs. These people must have been nothing to do with the ordinary arrangements at Bassetlaw, and must be the people my named nurse said had given directions I should be medicated even though he - the nurse - could see no need for the medication. More recently Nottinghamshire police have been implicated in what must surely be an improper scheme to try to keep me in Nottinghamshire under the influence - backed with the easy possibility of compulsory detention - of Bassetlaw Hospital. The whole affair is unbelievable. Dr G himself said unbelievable things were done, including the bugging of phones. The people perpetrating these unusual procedures - surely needing special legislative sanction - must have put forward some good reason, in other words hiding what by my guess was their real motivation, to protect Armond and his co-perpetrators from earlier years. The reason they put forward, I presume, was that they were investigating schizophrenia, this being my best guess from the outset why I had been abused as I had, a guess I had relayed to various people at various times including via my website. If this reason had been officially accepted - eg by Nottinghamshire police - as seemingly it was, all sorts of interferences could be perpetrated for example with my attempts to communicate (a letter I wrote to Microsoft in the States was not delivered in September 2005, and my guess must be that it was stopped this side of the Atlantic). Lately it seems a fair assessment has been undertaken whether in fact I am lunatic, taking account of my allegation - which turns out to be true - that given antischizophrenic drugs plus hypnotic suggestion (potentiated with an opium-like drug) I do present symptoms as if of schizophrenia.

This must be it surely: official bodies like the police (certainly Nottinghamshire police) and most psychiatrists (like Dr G) have been told what can only be regarded as a complete falsehood by people who understand it is a falsehood, that is the official people have been told that I am genuinely schizophrenic and am ‘under investigation’ and to the degree my lunacy allows I am co-operating in the investigation. If I am allowed off medication - and into freedom - it is alleged I may become violent, abusive to Dawn, a danger to children and incompetent to look after myself to boot. The people making these allegations surely have the mens rea: they know that it is basically a load of tosh.

Hence my conclusion (close to certainty) is that what has been going on recently is indeed an investigation - not by a Board of Enquiry as such, but more a criminal investigation - including such questions as what I can be persuaded to do given various combinations of drugs and hypnosis, and latterly what I think of giving medication to Dawn for her supposed mental condition. Dawn is not lunatic, not in the way Caroline was (and is, I suppose). Dawn is shy and retiring, and the psychiatric services have treated her - to the extent they have treated her at all - improperly. In fact she does not need medical treatment, she needs guidance - for example, had I not come along, guidance into a nunnery. Even her friend the former chaplain at Bassetlaw did not give correct guidance, and the reason for this is that no one (it seems) has a clue about the ‘schizo’ mind and to be honest, no one is very interested. Those employed in the psychiatric services are almost all fools evidently, or in the lower reaches simply there as an available employment now the mines have shut down. (However some of these latter, regarding the job as merely an employment, make the best carers: for example my named nurse mentioned above. If they are in it merely as employment they do not stress too much, and do not stress overly the vital necessity for patients to ‘get better’.)