I went to bed last night at 8.30 and although I was awake briefly on and off during the night I felt when I got up soon after 4 that I had had enough sleep. Recently I noticed a contrast in my mood from one day to the next, and concluded the marked improvement was due to having a good night’s sleep in between. Now this morning I feel on an even keel and have been revolving questions in my mind in a way impossible if I am lacking sleep (as not infrequently I have been over the past twelve to eighteen months).
What I was thinking about was our finances. We seem to have incurred a lot of expenditure the past month or two, and now we are recovering to a more balanced budget I am asking myself what it is I would wish to spend money on: in effect, what is the point in having money?
One of the conclusions I came to, in fact in trying to establish where the money had gone in recent months, was that we - Dawn too - are eating much better than before April. From mid April we have been on a 5:2 diet in which you are supposed to be dieting only two days out of each week but in practice the book makes suggestions for the ‘non-diet’ days as well. Medical people have verified this diet and, as I say, by restricting your intake of carbohydrates two days a week you can successfully lose weight without suffering adverse health consequences. What I have found is that eating the meals suggested in the book provides such variety of taste and overall food experience that I am much less tempted to eat inappropriately between meals. You are allowed treats between meals, but even the treats are designed to satisfy a desire for varied taste and texture without being too fattening: things like celery and houmous, and low-fat cheeses. It appears to me that the way I used to eat - putting on several stone in weight (this partly blameable on the Risperdal medication though) - was based on being at a loose end and filling time. This still applies, in the sense that I do not have a life which is especially busier than it was, but by eating this diet satisfying a desire for variety I can add interest to life without adding calories. Over four months I have lost just short of a stone, and they do say a steady but continuing loss of weight is a desirable aim, and then the loss is less likely to be easily reversed.
But to go back to the original point of where our money has been going: I noticed that from April our expenditure on food has shot up, and in association I have been making many more trips for food shopping (mainly to Asda at the Merry Hill shopping centre a bus ride away). (I said my life is not especially busier than it was, but to a degree it is since I have been getting more outings to the shops.) The main part of the increased cost to us of food I believe comes from meat. Previously as regards meat I was living almost exclusively on pork and chicken. Now we hardly ever have those meats, but do have a lot of beef and lamb. This in combination with the inclusion of much more fresh veg, and also the use of spices and herbs to improve variety of taste in meals, gives the basis for my saying that I am eating much better.
In summary it is the case that variety of experience provides almost all of what is a pleasure in my life. In the years following the deaths of my parents I could afford to travel about a lot, mainly within Britain and mainly by train, staying in hotels and all this providing variety of experience. I miss doing that. Yesterday I realised the last time I had been far afield and stayed in a hotel was April 2012 when I went to Edinburgh for two nights. Dawn doesn’t like hotels, and it is true we have something of what I like in travelling north (mainly north, although some of the family are in London and nearby) to see her family, and staying in their homes dog-sitting, more often than not. Also we go for day trips to Worcester, which I enjoy.
Anyway, the answer to what by choice I would spend money on - as well, now I think of it, as occasionally updating the technology I own (something again I did rather to excess in the years immediately following 2003) - are more trips to a greater variety of destinations (in Britain except that I would like to see Dublin again), stopping nights away from home as would naturally be appropriate.
Life is pretty good as it is, I have to say, as we do get to travel in going to see Dawn’s family. In fact we have such a trip coming up in the next few weeks, so that is something for me to look forward to.
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