Yesterday afternoon as we set off for Birmingham I noticed that drugs had got into us, presumably from our lunch-time sandwiches. With the sandwiches I had coffee (but Dawn I think had a cup of tea, but made with the same water of course).
It strikes me (furthermore) that discontinuing my website - certainly my main website, leaving perhaps my Blogger blog to expose my complaints - might be very positive towards ending the drugging. I don't feel entirely happy with this idea, though, and I can see no reason why I should feel unhappy about it unless I have been urged through hypnotising words to continue it. The only benefit I get from it lies in the pleasure I get at the idea people are interested in what I have to say, and the people who matter in this regard are not the people who override my objections to being drugged. How many genuine readers I have I cannot tell.
Reflecting on this, it seems not at all unlikely that I suffered hypnotising words in the nighttime while away from home at the weekend (in a hotel, in fact) and those words are having a continuing effect now, days later. I have in hand portable means of detecting voicing at night for such occasions. Furthering that project seems the best way I can spend time now, therefore.
Pursuing the hypothesis of hypnotising voices last weekend: it explains very well my predisposition to go to Birmingham (twice so far this week), and explains how the almost certain preparedness for us at the main post office there on Tuesday was arranged. Dawn bought a lottery ticket in there on that occasion, and I shall be interested to see the outcome of that (the draw was last night but we do not know the result yet for her ticket).
It explains my persuading myself since the weekend of the merits of my website and that I should take trouble to continue its maintenance (eg with my present hosts 123-reg despite the fact they seem to accept payment only by plastic). It casts doubt on the coffee granules I bought at Whittards (the ones I have just chucked).
To speak hypnotising words to me in the nighttime is, as I have said before, an unusual way of communicating. I understand that it has grown out of my preceding history, but I ask myself what the basis is on which The Experiment wishes to continue it. If I were left entirely free I should no doubt continue much as I was in 1978 and 1979, and more likely than not given the availability now of personal websites put up my diary as a blog. I have been hoping to put up my diaries from past years including the 1970s, in fact. The reason for wanting to continue the hypnotising words presumably now (whatever was formerly the case) is not merely so that the perpetrators can continue in employment. It is slightly uncertain whether I would do as I say, that is publish my diaries as a weblog, and my guess has to be that the present-day Experimenters wish to guide me in certain directions (including publishing what I have to say in a form accessible to them). Unfortunately hypnotising voicing also enables them to guide me to take drugs I do not want to take, and given what has happened in the past this possibility makes me very much less trustful. The weekend bash has cost me a jar of coffee thus far, and also consternation in processing on what to do about the Water Rate demand ....
As I say, it is the unusual nature of the 'communication' offered which causes me concern. People who freely agree with each other to do things enter into a form of contract, and the law on contract - tried and tested over centuries - is very helpful in understanding the nature of free agreements between people. To try to persuade others using persuasion techniques which psychological theorists have dreamt up in the past century is not the same thing at all, and formerly, evidence that persuasion techniques were of interest to The Experiment has caused me to prefer the hypothesis that we were being made use of for military purposes. (To be honest, most psychological theory as it is now is worthless, just as the associated 'work' which psychiatrists do is worthless and should be left to rich movie stars and the like to pay out for as they may pay out for personal astrologers, instead of State funds being wasted. Of course I know from experience that what is perpetrated by State-employed psychiatrists is worse than worthless: it is a danger to their patients.)
The first thing I did this morning on getting up was type up a handwritten note as I said yesterday I intended. I translated this to HTML and have just inserted it into the basic file [for my [then] website barrass-brough.org.uk] for May (this month). As soon as I returned - in doing that - to the work of preparing the website update I became 'yawnative' for which now read bored. The reason, now I see clearly, is that doing this website update is not something I myself have planned out to do, but rather has been suggested (perhaps foisted is too strong) to me by the nighttime voicers. Drugged as I have been in the past I have followed their suggestions - for one thing life was empty without having at least that to do - but now I understand clearly I have more of a choice in the matter. Having this choice, and thinking out the best choice to make, itself lays down the scheme or plan following which should give rise to pleasure apart from what actually gets done as a result of the activity planned out.
The Experimenters have whatever interests they have - in recent months, politics and economics. I have my interests: that is, what I would freely choose to spend time on: that is, most significantly, computer modelling of perceptual processes. Who is to say what is the best use of my time? One man I worked with at Dudley Council - a PhD in history, actually - disagreed with my suggestion the activities of Isaac Newton were of greater significance than say the perpetrations of Prime Ministers. He disagreed presumably because of his educational background and the things that in turn depended on. What I would say here is that I ought to be free to pursue my own lines of enquiry, to the extent the economics of the time allow (in other words at other times in history I might have needed to work in the counting-house for twelve hours each day, but not so in the present context).
I see now, also, the origin of the things going on in my mind as I have written my notes - or typed them on my handheld device - in going about since the weekend. Basically the comments I have made (my own comments at one remove from the commentary 'requested' by the Experimenters) have centred on the distraction from being explicit at too low a level, that is too close to physical reality, or certainly explicit thus too early. Keeping one's ideas in mind instead of on paper allows them to have a persistence which gives rise to better higher-level abstractions from them. That is, it gives rise (ultimately) to better summarisations and theories. This is why science has a brevity and power almost unknown in the arts and certainly unknown to ‘social science’.
Thus I see that a lot of the wasteful distraction from what I should have been doing, since the weekend, has derived not so much from drugs as from the nighttime voicing. The conclusion for politicians who may take an interest is that hypnosis without the preceding consent of the one hypnotised, in a clear undrugged condition of mind, should be outlawed.
Showing posts with label psychiatrists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychiatrists. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 May 2008
Friday, 23 May 2008
Closer Understanding
The night before this night just ended - that is, the night between Wednesday and Thursday - I got up in the middle of the night and flushed a lot of bread down the toilet, mainly Hovis bought a day or two previous from Sainsbury’s Merry Hill. I did this because I felt effects of drugs - a combination of stimulant and ASM [antischizophrenic medication] - and not understanding why I should continue to be drugged, was fearful - certainly suspicious - that the intention was to entrap me in continuing drugging such as I have suffered in the past. The way this has been perpetrated was to reduce my ability to think for myself, that is my ability to take into account longer range considerations in forming decisions what to do. Certain mixtures of stimulant and ASM have this effect on me, of reducing or zeroing my ability to take account of longer range considerations. It is the antischizophrenic component of the mixture which causes this problem, and with no stimulant admixed (or insufficient stimulant) I become very little active because I find little to motivate me. Under ordinary circumstances - that is, undrugged - the motivations I find for taking action relate exclusively to longer range considerations, that is longer term into the future. I know there are other motivations to be found - for example enjoyment of food - and when I have been on some combinations of drugs - notably in the early years of the new Millennium, that is from about the year 2000 on for a year or two - I have performed activities based on such motivations. Unfortunately I was nowhere near as happy under those circumstances, that is without my usual longer range motivations.
A further problem arising out of my particular history, from being given drugs which deprive me of longer range motivations, is that I become too subject to advice given by speaking to me when I am less than fully aware. (I have reason to believe such advice has been given when my awareness has been subdued - for example I have been heavily asleep, perhaps - by a drug like opium.) Because I have no genuine motivations arising within myself (that is, because the drugs I have been given when this has occurred have removed the motivation available from longer range considerations), when I am given stimulant drugs affecting me in the waking period (usually the daytime but sometimes I have been kept wakeful at night) which give me a feeling of drive which if not put into effect causes frustration (which can manifest in angry outbursts) and certainly distraction (in that the stimulant while in my metabolism puts me constantly on the look-out for action I might take), if I am given suggestion akin to hypnotic suggestion I act on that suggestion too readily.
Thus what has happened is that my ability to think for myself has been reduced near to zero with antischizophrenic drugs and then the actions I take have been too subject to the suggestion I have mentioned, akin to hypnotic suggestion. This suggestion has been used to persuade me to purchase foodstuffs which have been drugged, this leading to continuation in the entrapment I refer to. It has been more difficult to evade the entrapment when there have been fewer choices of places to shop for food: for example in the Harworth area of Nottinghamshire where we (my wife and I) had our park home and where we came close to settling permanently. Where we are living now in Kingswinford, there are so many easily accessible food stores that slight randomisation in our purchasing of food has a very beneficial effect in negativing any ‘hypnotic’ suggestion. The upshot is that those wishing to persuade me to continue to take in drugged foods and drinks find it impossible. Sometimes still when I do not see things as clearly as this morning I have fear of entrapment, for example through drugging of our water supply from South Staffs Water (which I am sure is a thing capable of being done and which has been done in months past).
The question why these people wish me to continue to take drugs of this nature - reducing near to zero my ability to think for myself - is one I find difficulty answering, and I suppose there must be complex factors arising out of my history. I was first given antischizophrenic drugs in the 1970s as part of a scheme to try to ‘treat’ the schizoid personality I had, which those giving the drugs seemingly felt was undesirable in itself (it is a widely held view that to be sociable is desirable) and probably felt might lead to schizophrenia with ‘positive’ symptoms which would be more widely agreed to be undesirable. Unfortunately they had insufficient understanding of the effects of the drugs given, as well as insufficient understanding of schizoid personality and of schizophrenia, and moreover they were very negligent in not assaying (at all, it seems to me, incredible though this may sound) the effects in practice of giving me the drugs surreptitiously.
The consequence of this sequence of drug administration - first surreptitiously, as I say, and in 1980, and subsequently, by compulsion (this leading through the effect on my ability to think for myself to continued acceptance by me of the abusive drugs) - was that I was under treatment with these drugs for almost twenty-five years.
In 2003 after my parents died I left the town where I had lived since the age of three and went to live in Retford in Nottinghamshire (although I have now returned to Kingswinford). Regrettably the people following the course of the treatment I had been receiving (successors to the original perpetrators from the time I was a student at Cambridge University) took the view that I needed to have antischizophrenic medication. I presume the reasons they had were not unethical reasons but rather were related to their mistaken way of understanding schizophrenia and its treatment. The sequence which followed from the time I started living in Retford was that in 2004 I was given powerful stimulant drugs which (in combination with antischizophrenic drugs given at the same time) caused me to behave in a confused and sometimes aggressive-seeming manner which resulted in the September in my arrest in Bristol and conveyance (under circumstances which I myself deplore extremely) back to Nottinghamshire and in fact to detention in Bassetlaw Hospital.
While in hospital there I met Dawn who is now my wife. The people following the course of my life and who had power (evidently) to order that I be given drugs, sometimes surreptitiously and sometimes by compulsion (when I was under a ‘section’ of the Mental Health Act improperly applied, in my view), seemingly felt that my choice of Dawn as a marriage partner was undesirable. Factors accidentally arising - for example the ‘talking-therapy’ treatment which had been applied around Easter of 2004 to a friend I had made on the internet (Caroline, who lived in Bristol) which had most unfortunate consequences for her and for me (again blameable on the mistaken way psychiatrists in Britain - including those promoting ‘talking-therapy’ treatments, evidently - have of understanding schizophrenia) - led now to a sort of panic in those following the course of my life (mistakenly believing I was schizophrenic and that they were gathering knowledge of the life of someone schizophrenic under treatment for schizophrenia in an ordinary British scheme of treatment). This is the best way I can find to explain events. In 2004 I had lost a lot of money online gambling, this resulting from the drugs I had been given (and possibly from ‘hypnotising’ advice in combination), and as I say Caroline had been caused a lot of heartache and general distress from the foolish treatment she had been subject to, so the perpetrators must have panicked, coming close to realising the error of their ways and (perhaps having the mens rea as I have suggested recently and surely having regret for the sequence resulting from their inadequate understanding) feeling they must brave things out and try to promote (or prove, as they may have presented it to themselves) the diagnosis I had of schizophrenia thus justifying the treatment I had been meted.
My fears change according to the mixtures of drugs I am given from time to time, but this morning I feel that surely what is going on now is not a further attempt to entrap me but rather an endeavour to obtain evidence, directly on the effects of drugs given to me surreptitiously (for example in recent days in bread) and further from what I say about events over the years, and from documents I produce (and publish on the internet) relating to what has happened over the years.
A further problem arising out of my particular history, from being given drugs which deprive me of longer range motivations, is that I become too subject to advice given by speaking to me when I am less than fully aware. (I have reason to believe such advice has been given when my awareness has been subdued - for example I have been heavily asleep, perhaps - by a drug like opium.) Because I have no genuine motivations arising within myself (that is, because the drugs I have been given when this has occurred have removed the motivation available from longer range considerations), when I am given stimulant drugs affecting me in the waking period (usually the daytime but sometimes I have been kept wakeful at night) which give me a feeling of drive which if not put into effect causes frustration (which can manifest in angry outbursts) and certainly distraction (in that the stimulant while in my metabolism puts me constantly on the look-out for action I might take), if I am given suggestion akin to hypnotic suggestion I act on that suggestion too readily.
Thus what has happened is that my ability to think for myself has been reduced near to zero with antischizophrenic drugs and then the actions I take have been too subject to the suggestion I have mentioned, akin to hypnotic suggestion. This suggestion has been used to persuade me to purchase foodstuffs which have been drugged, this leading to continuation in the entrapment I refer to. It has been more difficult to evade the entrapment when there have been fewer choices of places to shop for food: for example in the Harworth area of Nottinghamshire where we (my wife and I) had our park home and where we came close to settling permanently. Where we are living now in Kingswinford, there are so many easily accessible food stores that slight randomisation in our purchasing of food has a very beneficial effect in negativing any ‘hypnotic’ suggestion. The upshot is that those wishing to persuade me to continue to take in drugged foods and drinks find it impossible. Sometimes still when I do not see things as clearly as this morning I have fear of entrapment, for example through drugging of our water supply from South Staffs Water (which I am sure is a thing capable of being done and which has been done in months past).
The question why these people wish me to continue to take drugs of this nature - reducing near to zero my ability to think for myself - is one I find difficulty answering, and I suppose there must be complex factors arising out of my history. I was first given antischizophrenic drugs in the 1970s as part of a scheme to try to ‘treat’ the schizoid personality I had, which those giving the drugs seemingly felt was undesirable in itself (it is a widely held view that to be sociable is desirable) and probably felt might lead to schizophrenia with ‘positive’ symptoms which would be more widely agreed to be undesirable. Unfortunately they had insufficient understanding of the effects of the drugs given, as well as insufficient understanding of schizoid personality and of schizophrenia, and moreover they were very negligent in not assaying (at all, it seems to me, incredible though this may sound) the effects in practice of giving me the drugs surreptitiously.
The consequence of this sequence of drug administration - first surreptitiously, as I say, and in 1980, and subsequently, by compulsion (this leading through the effect on my ability to think for myself to continued acceptance by me of the abusive drugs) - was that I was under treatment with these drugs for almost twenty-five years.
In 2003 after my parents died I left the town where I had lived since the age of three and went to live in Retford in Nottinghamshire (although I have now returned to Kingswinford). Regrettably the people following the course of the treatment I had been receiving (successors to the original perpetrators from the time I was a student at Cambridge University) took the view that I needed to have antischizophrenic medication. I presume the reasons they had were not unethical reasons but rather were related to their mistaken way of understanding schizophrenia and its treatment. The sequence which followed from the time I started living in Retford was that in 2004 I was given powerful stimulant drugs which (in combination with antischizophrenic drugs given at the same time) caused me to behave in a confused and sometimes aggressive-seeming manner which resulted in the September in my arrest in Bristol and conveyance (under circumstances which I myself deplore extremely) back to Nottinghamshire and in fact to detention in Bassetlaw Hospital.
While in hospital there I met Dawn who is now my wife. The people following the course of my life and who had power (evidently) to order that I be given drugs, sometimes surreptitiously and sometimes by compulsion (when I was under a ‘section’ of the Mental Health Act improperly applied, in my view), seemingly felt that my choice of Dawn as a marriage partner was undesirable. Factors accidentally arising - for example the ‘talking-therapy’ treatment which had been applied around Easter of 2004 to a friend I had made on the internet (Caroline, who lived in Bristol) which had most unfortunate consequences for her and for me (again blameable on the mistaken way psychiatrists in Britain - including those promoting ‘talking-therapy’ treatments, evidently - have of understanding schizophrenia) - led now to a sort of panic in those following the course of my life (mistakenly believing I was schizophrenic and that they were gathering knowledge of the life of someone schizophrenic under treatment for schizophrenia in an ordinary British scheme of treatment). This is the best way I can find to explain events. In 2004 I had lost a lot of money online gambling, this resulting from the drugs I had been given (and possibly from ‘hypnotising’ advice in combination), and as I say Caroline had been caused a lot of heartache and general distress from the foolish treatment she had been subject to, so the perpetrators must have panicked, coming close to realising the error of their ways and (perhaps having the mens rea as I have suggested recently and surely having regret for the sequence resulting from their inadequate understanding) feeling they must brave things out and try to promote (or prove, as they may have presented it to themselves) the diagnosis I had of schizophrenia thus justifying the treatment I had been meted.
My fears change according to the mixtures of drugs I am given from time to time, but this morning I feel that surely what is going on now is not a further attempt to entrap me but rather an endeavour to obtain evidence, directly on the effects of drugs given to me surreptitiously (for example in recent days in bread) and further from what I say about events over the years, and from documents I produce (and publish on the internet) relating to what has happened over the years.
Saturday, 17 May 2008
Sainsbury's gives rise to thinking
The following thoughts have followed as a consequence of what I observed in Sainsbury’s Birmingham city centre this afternoon, where we ended up shopping for food after initially going to Stourbridge (to get money from the building society) and then thinking we might go to Wolverhampton but that the wait for the bus would have been so long.
When we arrived at the Sainsbury’s in question a policeman was inside, and while from what I heard there was a supposed reason for him being there unrelated to us, my presumption close to certainty is that he was on duty because we might well turn up there. When I went to the soft drinks chill cabinet thinking to buy something like Red Bull, standing by was a seeming Sainsbury’s man with a trolley stacked with drinks of the sort I might ordinarily buy, that is stimulant drinks and Lucozade. The best theory I can find in explanation of this - especially given that the trolley was wheeled away as soon as I had left the area - was that the drinks in the chill cabinet (the ones at the front, perhaps) contained drugs and the trolley was to replace them with undrugged versions.
What I have reflected on this is that while what is being done bears a great resemblance to ‘the Experiment’ in 1980 and 1983-84 (including the contribution from BBC and other TV presenters, although we watch little nowadays), because of the context now - me living in my own home with a helpful wife instead of parents who were misadvised - much more effort has to be put in to distort the environment and to get drugs into me (particularly since I have sense to distrust the tapwater). This means that many more people from different walks of life are in the know - for example Sainsbury’s staff and managers, and police officers - and I think and hope this means that hole-in-the-corner abuse such as my detention on a mental ward in a remote district for months, or even harsh treatment in police cells for eighteen hours say, is unlikely to re-occur. On the presumption (a pretty certain presumption) that senior police officers are aware that I am - if I do not practise successful evasion - foisted foods containing mind-altering drugs, I think it is not so much a question of using techniques of mind-alteration (including the drugs) to get me by hook or by crook into a mental ward again, as to see whether I feel the help of mental doctors - or any doctors - would be any good, and in general how I react and what it is I fear.
The answer is plain: what I fear is treatment for mental illness (and in particular, drug treatment) and confinement under the jurisdiction of only medical people; and as regards the police, even though Nottinghamshire police behaved wrongly (presumably due to some misguided senior officer) and the Police Complaints Commission are dragging their feet, nonetheless I would much rather trust myself to police to be looked after than to mental doctors who as I have said before couldn’t pass the Eleven-Plus.
When we arrived at the Sainsbury’s in question a policeman was inside, and while from what I heard there was a supposed reason for him being there unrelated to us, my presumption close to certainty is that he was on duty because we might well turn up there. When I went to the soft drinks chill cabinet thinking to buy something like Red Bull, standing by was a seeming Sainsbury’s man with a trolley stacked with drinks of the sort I might ordinarily buy, that is stimulant drinks and Lucozade. The best theory I can find in explanation of this - especially given that the trolley was wheeled away as soon as I had left the area - was that the drinks in the chill cabinet (the ones at the front, perhaps) contained drugs and the trolley was to replace them with undrugged versions.
What I have reflected on this is that while what is being done bears a great resemblance to ‘the Experiment’ in 1980 and 1983-84 (including the contribution from BBC and other TV presenters, although we watch little nowadays), because of the context now - me living in my own home with a helpful wife instead of parents who were misadvised - much more effort has to be put in to distort the environment and to get drugs into me (particularly since I have sense to distrust the tapwater). This means that many more people from different walks of life are in the know - for example Sainsbury’s staff and managers, and police officers - and I think and hope this means that hole-in-the-corner abuse such as my detention on a mental ward in a remote district for months, or even harsh treatment in police cells for eighteen hours say, is unlikely to re-occur. On the presumption (a pretty certain presumption) that senior police officers are aware that I am - if I do not practise successful evasion - foisted foods containing mind-altering drugs, I think it is not so much a question of using techniques of mind-alteration (including the drugs) to get me by hook or by crook into a mental ward again, as to see whether I feel the help of mental doctors - or any doctors - would be any good, and in general how I react and what it is I fear.
The answer is plain: what I fear is treatment for mental illness (and in particular, drug treatment) and confinement under the jurisdiction of only medical people; and as regards the police, even though Nottinghamshire police behaved wrongly (presumably due to some misguided senior officer) and the Police Complaints Commission are dragging their feet, nonetheless I would much rather trust myself to police to be looked after than to mental doctors who as I have said before couldn’t pass the Eleven-Plus.
Sunday, 11 May 2008
Miscreant perpetration of interference in Freewill (what my grandson calls Hard Words)
It is possible to imagine that the perpetrators of these interferences (even if made legal, possibly retrospectively, so they cannot be called crimes) against Dawn and myself honestly believe (or perhaps not precisely honestly but with the aid of double-think) the adage (quoted by Armond for sure) that anyone can develop schizophrenia: it is a thing, like Freewill, inherently unpredictable: given sufficient ‘stress’ people - the entire species - can develop schizophrenia, but some crack up easier than others. To state the fact plainly and without emotion (instead of ranting as usual about their idiocy and about their Sinfulness): their view is mistaken. State money is used to make life difficult for me, for example in the matter of renewing my website hosting package with 123-reg (who I am pleased to recommend far and above the arch-abettors Heart Internet who still have my money for nothing from last year, if not chicks for free). But as I said on a recent parallel occasion, we with indemnification against schizophrenia (in having adequately balanced synapses through the various sub-systems in the brain) weigh one thing against the other. It’s true I like to have my own website, but if to maintain it became too onerous (compared against other calls on my attention and efforts, in what accountancy calls the opportunity cost) I would give it up. Thankfully in our pluralistic economy there are a number of other suppliers of web hosting, and if it turns out that GX Networks (who now own 123-reg) are arch-abettors of the Heart Internet variety I can try elsewhere. (I think however they have been impostored through my miscreant foe interrupting communication with the True Website at 123-reg.co.uk.)
On the other hand this expenditure of State money on miscreants (plus otherwise out-of-work actors who the Civil Servants feel sorry for now the mines and Round Oak Steelworks have closed and whom I do not place in the miscreant class) makes life unusually onerous for me (speaking statistically) and I have to spend my own money in what should be unnecessary procedures including sending every letter I send either Recorded or Special.
Speaking of unpredictability: myself I don’t believe in Freewill as such, because I know everything in Creation (even miscreants) purposes aims for antecedent reasons. To suppose the future looks after the past is (to use the word again) mistaken: what governs the present - that is determination in the present - is forecasting of the future based on statistics from the past. The reason people (and animals) are unpredictable is complexity, based on large numbers, that is large numbers of brain cells and combinatorially explosive linkages between them. People who make errors are especially unpredictable and difficult to fathom (the miscreants again) but I think I am getting their measure (six feet or in former times a cubit, I suppose). People who make errors cannot easily be predicted even knowing their purposed aims (and these latter I am only just getting to grips with, variable and error-prone in themselves and including sub-features like making work for otherwise out-of-work actors). Give people antischizophrenic drugs and they become more predictable, that is they toe the line better; the reason is the complexity of their synaptic inter-linkages becomes much reduced.
Evidently the miscreants have insufficient understanding to see the immorality in this. Whether the State psychiatrists in the USSR who prescribed such drugs for dissidents thought in the same terms I do not know.
On the other hand this expenditure of State money on miscreants (plus otherwise out-of-work actors who the Civil Servants feel sorry for now the mines and Round Oak Steelworks have closed and whom I do not place in the miscreant class) makes life unusually onerous for me (speaking statistically) and I have to spend my own money in what should be unnecessary procedures including sending every letter I send either Recorded or Special.
Speaking of unpredictability: myself I don’t believe in Freewill as such, because I know everything in Creation (even miscreants) purposes aims for antecedent reasons. To suppose the future looks after the past is (to use the word again) mistaken: what governs the present - that is determination in the present - is forecasting of the future based on statistics from the past. The reason people (and animals) are unpredictable is complexity, based on large numbers, that is large numbers of brain cells and combinatorially explosive linkages between them. People who make errors are especially unpredictable and difficult to fathom (the miscreants again) but I think I am getting their measure (six feet or in former times a cubit, I suppose). People who make errors cannot easily be predicted even knowing their purposed aims (and these latter I am only just getting to grips with, variable and error-prone in themselves and including sub-features like making work for otherwise out-of-work actors). Give people antischizophrenic drugs and they become more predictable, that is they toe the line better; the reason is the complexity of their synaptic inter-linkages becomes much reduced.
Evidently the miscreants have insufficient understanding to see the immorality in this. Whether the State psychiatrists in the USSR who prescribed such drugs for dissidents thought in the same terms I do not know.
Saturday, 10 May 2008
Reprint
28/04/08 05:22 [Monday]
I am pondering the possibility that the people at Bassetlaw genuinely felt they were there to ‘look after me’. Psychiatrists have weird ways of thinking, but Dr G seemed friendly enough even though it did not in the least occur to him that there was anything wrong with holding me in hospital, beyond the time ordinarily a patient would be held as he agreed - not admitting in any sense - I was being held when I asked him just before my discharge - on leave - in November 2005. In preparation for the discharge I was evidently subject to hypnotising questioning and urging.
Dr G, it was evident, did not know (and would not believe) that I genuinely had been drugged surreptitiously in the summer of 2005 preceding my detention. One of the first times I was drugged that summer - for the purpose of hypnotising me, I think, rather than drugged with antischizophrenic drugs (certainly not for any purpose they are usually given) - was in July 2005 when the premiss of the hypnosis was to invite me to call for an ambulance and go to hospital. The ambulance staff I remember very keenly queried whether I myself genuinely wanted to be taken to hospital. I said I did, and Dawn and I were taken to the Queen Alexandra Hospital in Redditch where I was seen by a psychiatrists called Laki to whom I explained the reason I had come was to waste his time because I was resentful of the way psychiatrists had treated me in the past. We were released late at night and wandered for hours - or what seemed like hours - round the dual carriageways of the New Town of Redditch, I being under the influence of some confusional drugs possibly including antischizophrenic agents. The thing is it was not a hole-in-the-corner affair. The ambulance man knew I was a special case because of the way he carefully asked me if I myself wanted to go to hospital. The police also watched out - although not as much as in more recent times - when we were wandering about Redditch around 2 am.
The diary entry from Tuesday 8 November 2005 [omitted here but quoted in the original version of April 2008 now in colinbrough.co.uk] indicates to me that people speaking to me when I was in a trance-like condition were asking me for evidence I was mentally ill and almost explicitly saying that I could choose to be ‘looked after’ at Bassetlaw for the rest of my days if I agreed to be stilled - and silenced - with antischizophrenic drugs. These people must have been nothing to do with the ordinary arrangements at Bassetlaw, and must be the people my named nurse said had given directions I should be medicated even though he - the nurse - could see no need for the medication. More recently Nottinghamshire police have been implicated in what must surely be an improper scheme to try to keep me in Nottinghamshire under the influence - backed with the easy possibility of compulsory detention - of Bassetlaw Hospital. The whole affair is unbelievable. Dr G himself said unbelievable things were done, including the bugging of phones. The people perpetrating these unusual procedures - surely needing special legislative sanction - must have put forward some good reason, in other words hiding what by my guess was their real motivation, to protect Armond and his co-perpetrators from earlier years. The reason they put forward, I presume, was that they were investigating schizophrenia, this being my best guess from the outset why I had been abused as I had, a guess I had relayed to various people at various times including via my website. If this reason had been officially accepted - eg by Nottinghamshire police - as seemingly it was, all sorts of interferences could be perpetrated for example with my attempts to communicate (a letter I wrote to Microsoft in the States was not delivered in September 2005, and my guess must be that it was stopped this side of the Atlantic). Lately it seems a fair assessment has been undertaken whether in fact I am lunatic, taking account of my allegation - which turns out to be true - that given antischizophrenic drugs plus hypnotic suggestion (potentiated with an opium-like drug) I do present symptoms as if of schizophrenia.
This must be it surely: official bodies like the police (certainly Nottinghamshire police) and most psychiatrists (like Dr G) have been told what can only be regarded as a complete falsehood by people who understand it is a falsehood, that is the official people have been told that I am genuinely schizophrenic and am ‘under investigation’ and to the degree my lunacy allows I am co-operating in the investigation. If I am allowed off medication - and into freedom - it is alleged I may become violent, abusive to Dawn, a danger to children and incompetent to look after myself to boot. The people making these allegations surely have the mens rea: they know that it is basically a load of tosh.
Hence my conclusion (close to certainty) is that what has been going on recently is indeed an investigation - not by a Board of Enquiry as such, but more a criminal investigation - including such questions as what I can be persuaded to do given various combinations of drugs and hypnosis, and latterly what I think of giving medication to Dawn for her supposed mental condition. Dawn is not lunatic, not in the way Caroline was (and is, I suppose). Dawn is shy and retiring, and the psychiatric services have treated her - to the extent they have treated her at all - improperly. In fact she does not need medical treatment, she needs guidance - for example, had I not come along, guidance into a nunnery. Even her friend the former chaplain at Bassetlaw did not give correct guidance, and the reason for this is that no one (it seems) has a clue about the ‘schizo’ mind and to be honest, no one is very interested. Those employed in the psychiatric services are almost all fools evidently, or in the lower reaches simply there as an available employment now the mines have shut down. (However some of these latter, regarding the job as merely an employment, make the best carers: for example my named nurse mentioned above. If they are in it merely as employment they do not stress too much, and do not stress overly the vital necessity for patients to ‘get better’.)
I am pondering the possibility that the people at Bassetlaw genuinely felt they were there to ‘look after me’. Psychiatrists have weird ways of thinking, but Dr G seemed friendly enough even though it did not in the least occur to him that there was anything wrong with holding me in hospital, beyond the time ordinarily a patient would be held as he agreed - not admitting in any sense - I was being held when I asked him just before my discharge - on leave - in November 2005. In preparation for the discharge I was evidently subject to hypnotising questioning and urging.
Dr G, it was evident, did not know (and would not believe) that I genuinely had been drugged surreptitiously in the summer of 2005 preceding my detention. One of the first times I was drugged that summer - for the purpose of hypnotising me, I think, rather than drugged with antischizophrenic drugs (certainly not for any purpose they are usually given) - was in July 2005 when the premiss of the hypnosis was to invite me to call for an ambulance and go to hospital. The ambulance staff I remember very keenly queried whether I myself genuinely wanted to be taken to hospital. I said I did, and Dawn and I were taken to the Queen Alexandra Hospital in Redditch where I was seen by a psychiatrists called Laki to whom I explained the reason I had come was to waste his time because I was resentful of the way psychiatrists had treated me in the past. We were released late at night and wandered for hours - or what seemed like hours - round the dual carriageways of the New Town of Redditch, I being under the influence of some confusional drugs possibly including antischizophrenic agents. The thing is it was not a hole-in-the-corner affair. The ambulance man knew I was a special case because of the way he carefully asked me if I myself wanted to go to hospital. The police also watched out - although not as much as in more recent times - when we were wandering about Redditch around 2 am.
The diary entry from Tuesday 8 November 2005 [omitted here but quoted in the original version of April 2008 now in colinbrough.co.uk] indicates to me that people speaking to me when I was in a trance-like condition were asking me for evidence I was mentally ill and almost explicitly saying that I could choose to be ‘looked after’ at Bassetlaw for the rest of my days if I agreed to be stilled - and silenced - with antischizophrenic drugs. These people must have been nothing to do with the ordinary arrangements at Bassetlaw, and must be the people my named nurse said had given directions I should be medicated even though he - the nurse - could see no need for the medication. More recently Nottinghamshire police have been implicated in what must surely be an improper scheme to try to keep me in Nottinghamshire under the influence - backed with the easy possibility of compulsory detention - of Bassetlaw Hospital. The whole affair is unbelievable. Dr G himself said unbelievable things were done, including the bugging of phones. The people perpetrating these unusual procedures - surely needing special legislative sanction - must have put forward some good reason, in other words hiding what by my guess was their real motivation, to protect Armond and his co-perpetrators from earlier years. The reason they put forward, I presume, was that they were investigating schizophrenia, this being my best guess from the outset why I had been abused as I had, a guess I had relayed to various people at various times including via my website. If this reason had been officially accepted - eg by Nottinghamshire police - as seemingly it was, all sorts of interferences could be perpetrated for example with my attempts to communicate (a letter I wrote to Microsoft in the States was not delivered in September 2005, and my guess must be that it was stopped this side of the Atlantic). Lately it seems a fair assessment has been undertaken whether in fact I am lunatic, taking account of my allegation - which turns out to be true - that given antischizophrenic drugs plus hypnotic suggestion (potentiated with an opium-like drug) I do present symptoms as if of schizophrenia.
This must be it surely: official bodies like the police (certainly Nottinghamshire police) and most psychiatrists (like Dr G) have been told what can only be regarded as a complete falsehood by people who understand it is a falsehood, that is the official people have been told that I am genuinely schizophrenic and am ‘under investigation’ and to the degree my lunacy allows I am co-operating in the investigation. If I am allowed off medication - and into freedom - it is alleged I may become violent, abusive to Dawn, a danger to children and incompetent to look after myself to boot. The people making these allegations surely have the mens rea: they know that it is basically a load of tosh.
Hence my conclusion (close to certainty) is that what has been going on recently is indeed an investigation - not by a Board of Enquiry as such, but more a criminal investigation - including such questions as what I can be persuaded to do given various combinations of drugs and hypnosis, and latterly what I think of giving medication to Dawn for her supposed mental condition. Dawn is not lunatic, not in the way Caroline was (and is, I suppose). Dawn is shy and retiring, and the psychiatric services have treated her - to the extent they have treated her at all - improperly. In fact she does not need medical treatment, she needs guidance - for example, had I not come along, guidance into a nunnery. Even her friend the former chaplain at Bassetlaw did not give correct guidance, and the reason for this is that no one (it seems) has a clue about the ‘schizo’ mind and to be honest, no one is very interested. Those employed in the psychiatric services are almost all fools evidently, or in the lower reaches simply there as an available employment now the mines have shut down. (However some of these latter, regarding the job as merely an employment, make the best carers: for example my named nurse mentioned above. If they are in it merely as employment they do not stress too much, and do not stress overly the vital necessity for patients to ‘get better’.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)